Raise Your Standards

Hey Babes!

Welcome back to the blog! It’s Valentine’s Day season, and while love is in the air, I need you to take a deep breath and snap out of any delulu fantasies about men who aren’t meeting your standards. Don’t get me wrong—I love love. I’m a romantic at heart, and I fully believe in soulmates, grand gestures, and happily-ever-afters.

I’m also very happy in my relationship with Alex. And let me tell you, every woman deserves an Alex—a man who shows up, makes life easier, and never leaves you questioning his feelings. You don’t have to play detective, beg for effort, or wonder where you stand with a good man. He makes it known.

So, since Valentine’s Day is on the 14th, here are 14 non-negotiable reminders to keep you from settling for anything less than you deserve.

1. A man that anyone can have is not a man that you should want.
If he’s always available to the streets, let him stay there. A man who craves constant validation and attention from other women is not a prize. The man of your dreams moves with purpose, values exclusivity, and respects himself enough not to be passed around like a group chat meme.

2. A crush is a lack of information—you do not know him.
You’re not in love, babe—you’re in fantasy land. We tend to fill in the gaps about someone when we don’t truly know them. You don’t like him; you like the version of him that exists in your head. Until you see his values, habits, and treatment of others, he’s just a cute face with potential. And potential means nothing without action.

3. A man should want you more than you want him.
When a man is truly interested, it’s obvious. You won’t have to overthink or overcompensate. He will pursue, prioritize, and make it clear to the world that he wants you. The moment you feel like you’re begging for attention? It’s already a lost cause.

4. You shouldn’t like a man until he loves you.
Your affection shouldn’t be handed out for free. Too many women fall too fast, too hard, and too soon—only to be left picking up the pieces of a one-sided relationship. Let him prove his love, consistency, and commitment before you start catching real feelings. Make him earn you.

5. If he wanted you, it would be clear by his behavior.
A man’s actions tell you everything you need to know. When he’s serious about you, you won’t be left guessing. Men are simple creatures—they make an effort when they truly care. Look at how he treats you, not what he says. Words are cheap, but consistent actions speak volumes.

6. If you have to say it more than once, he isn’t listening.
I like orchids, prefer private dates, and hate horror movies. These are things I’ve only had to tell Alex once. A man who values you listens, remembers, and applies. If he keeps “forgetting” the things that matter to you, he doesn’t care enough to retain them.

7. If he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend, then he is not your boyfriend.
In the words of my father, “Do not act above your title.” If he hasn’t made it official, you don’t owe him exclusivity, loyalty, or emotional labor. Go out, live your life, and act accordingly—because trust me, he is.

8. If he wanted to, he would.
Women love to make excuses for men. “Maybe he’s just busy.” No, babe. A man who values you will always find a way. Whether it’s a five-minute call, a thoughtful gesture, or showing up no matter what—effort is non-negotiable. If he’s not making any, that’s the message.

9. Men secretly don’t know what they want in a woman.
Most men don’t have a real type. They just know what they don’t want when they see it. Today it’s “be natural” but tomorrow it’s “wear more makeup.” The truth? Stop worrying about male preferences and focus on being the best version of you—because the right man will love you as you are.

10. Don’t give up what you want just to settle for what’s available.
It’s better to wait for the right man than waste years on the wrong one. The wrong man will cost you your peace, self-esteem, and even your looks (because stress ages you, babe). Never downgrade for convenience.

11. If he isn’t making your life easier, drop him.
A relationship should add to your life, not drain it. A good man brings stability, security, and ease—not stress, confusion, and chaos. If he’s not making things better, what’s the point?

12. If he isn’t giving it to you, he’s giving it to someone else.
This applies to time, money, attention, affection—everything. A man who truly desires you will naturally want to provide and pour into you. If he’s withholding effort, it’s because he’s giving it elsewhere. Don’t wait around to be an afterthought.

13. Provider or nothing.
A masculine man wants to take care of his woman—financially, emotionally, and physically. If he’s making you split the bill, beg for attention, or carry all the emotional weight, he’s not a provider—he’s a project. And you are not a rehabilitation center.

14. The right man will love everything about you.
You won’t need to shrink yourself, dim your light, or change who you are to earn his love. The right man will adore your quirks, support your dreams, and cherish you—flaws and all.

Final Thoughts
Raising your standards isn’t about being picky—it’s about valuing yourself enough to never settle. The right man will meet you at your level, love you fully, and never leave you second-guessing your worth.

Which one of these points hit home for you? Let’s talk in the comments! ❤️